I am a writer.
These are the words that came to me as I sat down to write this post/letter/essay and introduce my new venture into Substack.
I am a writer and I want to take that seriously.
I am a writer and I want to create.
I am a writer and I want to connect meaningfully, authentically, from my heart to yours.
I am a writer and I want to share and express myself, unrestrained.
From one self to another. That’s what brings me here.
I have been meaning to create a way of doing this and of speaking more personally to you for a year. Probably more than. So I’m proud and excited that it's finally taken its form. Maybe I was waiting for Substack all along. Or maybe it was just the procrastination and uncertainty that took hold.
As I practise more and more, and come closer to my truest self, I realise that writing is an expression of my heart, a calling of my heart. I always used to look upon people who had an innate passion, a true calling, whether through music, art, dance or other, with envy. My husband being one of them. The way his soul moves through his fingers as he plays his guitar, the way he comes alive when talking about music, the way he spends most free moments filling himself up with it.
I just didn’t have that ‘thing’ and it’s something that, in the past, has left me feeling lacking. At times even feeling like it has meant there’s something wrong with me. That it makes me boring, lacking in enthusiasm, empty of personality.
I now know, of course, none of those things are true. Actually, it was there all along. I just never considered it to be a passion or a form of creativity because it’s something that comes naturally to me. Everyone can do it, if they’re lucky, most people can pick up a pen or pull out a keyboard and write. So, surely it’s nothing special? Surely it can’t be something to feel passionate about?
Despite feeling passionate about the writing of other people, loving reading books and appreciating the way they weave and wave their linguistic creativity into the magic of the page, I dismissed it. It took me to recognise it, cultivate it, practise it, understand and actually realise how I connect with it to finally see it’s what I have always loved.
I am a writer.
So I’m writing here, from one self to another, on being ever-evolving humans gently seeking our truest selves. You can expect to see my musings, learnings and questions as I navigate the journey inside and outside of myself. Whatever self you inhabit in the world, we’re all just figuring it out, and my hope is that we can do that together.
Much love,
Suzi
It took me so long to be able to say, 'I am a writer', or even, 'I am an artist', even though it was my work. Lovely post!
There is no better statement than 'I am.' When we say it, not only are we the author of the sentence, but often we're the person in the crowd that most needs to hear it. Hello writer.